Creative Report Cards

This time of year my grade school teacher friends are looking for creative comments to add to the stack of report cards that they have to write.  Perhaps some of these comments will help. 

Your son has a remarkable ability to gather needed information
from his classmates.
[ Your son was caught cheating on a test ]

Karen is an endless font of energy and viability.
[ The hyperactive monster can’t stay seated for five minutes ]

Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact
with fiction.
[ definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met ]

Maggie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating
that high expectations don’t intimidate her.
[ The lazy thing hasn’t done one assignment all term ]

Her athletic ability is marvelous. Superior hand-eye coordination.
[ The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away ]

Nicholas thrives on interaction with his peers.
[ Nicholas needs to stop socializing and start working ]

Penelope’s greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions.
[ Classroom lawyer! Every time I explain an assignment she starts
an argument ]

John enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with his peers.
[ John is a bully ]

An adventurous nature lover who rarely misses opportunities to
explore new territory.
[ Your daughter was caught skipping school at the fishing pond ]

I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality.
[ She’s so immature that we’ve run out of diapers ]

Unlike some students who hide their emotion, Charles is very
expressive and open.
[ He must have written the Whiner’s Digest ]

I firmly believe that her intellectual and emotional progress
would be enhanced through a year’s repetition of her learning
environment.
[ she is not ready to advance and should repeat 3rd grade ]

Her exuberant verbosity is awesome!
[ I can’t get her to SHUT UP ]

Hope eveyone survives the next 21 days, whether you are at the high school, middle school or grammar school level!

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2 Comments on “Creative Report Cards”

  1. alwaysjan Says:

    I like to use a comment that appeared on my own son’s report card when I write report cards. “Has trouble internalizing classroom routines.” What a great way to tell you that your kid is clueless! I’ll have to incorporate some of your comments. I’ve got several students this year who could have written the Whiner’s Digest!

    “Has trouble internalizing classroom routines” could have been used on my youngest son’s cards, and probably was. Sorry. but in my experience the whiners were the teachers…the first 3 teachers in my son’s life could do nothing but complain about him. Can’t wait for Karma – they have children about to reach elementary school.


  2. I really AM on WordPress.com


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